The statute of limitations has expired on most of our childhood trauma

"The stories of our lives, far from being fixed narratives, are under constant revision. The slender threads of causality are rewoven and reinterpreted as we attempt to explain to ourselves and others how we became the people we are. Certainly we are shaped by them and must learn from them if we are to avoid the repetitious mistakes that make us feel trapped in a long-running drama of our own authorship. Because acceptance of responsibility for what we do and how we feel requires an act of will, it is natural to blame people in our pasts, especially our parents, for not doing a better job. No child escapes unscathed from parental abuse or neglect. It is important to go about examining this sympathetically, in a way that emphasizes learning but rejects the assumption that even the most awful experiences define our lives forever. All of us have endured events and losses about which we had no choice. These include the families into which we were born, the way we were treated as children, the deaths and divorces of those close to us. It is not hard to make a case that we have been adversely affected by events and people outside our control. The idea that we have to sit and talk about the problems we face and the things we have tried that have failed implies a slow and unwieldy process that has at its core an uncomfortable assumption: We are responsible for most of what happens to us."
 
G. Livingston

I was born without a silver spoon. However, Independent of what happens during our childhood we always have the power to control our future. We can have dreams and work towards them with all our energy and make the rest of our lives an incredible turn around.

I must say that I was very lucky as a child to have good, caring parents and family, have the opportunity to go to school and have no traumatic experiences. (Sarcastic) But i so wish my childhood was not as bad as it was back then.

However I believe that a person that came from a traumatic childhood also has a shot at making it in life, some of them have even more will to do so and achieve more great things in their lives than some that had all the support systems in place. Of course the opposite also happens, but the possibility is still there.

I guess those with the will to change and make their lives better will not only improve their lives, but break a vicious cycle that would go on from generation to generation. 

Image Source

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Only bad things happen quickly.

“Only bad things happen quickly, virtually all the happiness-producing processes in our lives take time, usually a long time: learning new things, changing old behaviors, building satisfying relationships, raising children. This is why patience and determination are among life’s primary virtues. ”

― Gordon Livingston

Then you want to hold on to something, because everything is moving so fast, everything is blurry and you can't breathe because it feels like the air is being squeezed out of your lungs, squeezed in such a painful way words will never be able to describe it.

I must say I completely disagree with this statement, for me all the good things happen quickly. When I'm having a good time, time literally flies by. It’s when you're dealing with bad things in your personal or work life that the day never seems to end.

This is because people only realize or are only cognitive of bad things that happen in their lives, how many times do we hear of good news in the media? It is highly unlikely that good news gets reported on in newspapers why? Because bad news sells and bad decision make good story.

Bad decisions make good stories, organisation sometime do bad things for good reason and sometimes organisation made bad decision for a good reason. However, sometimes we made a decision without knowing if it is the right decision or not, but as soon as we find out about the decision we made and it is indeed a bad decision, we find a way to correct that terrible decision we have made, and for one to correct their mistake, they need a good story…

Image Source

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THE TRICK OF SKATEBOARDING IN MAGIC

Skateboarding is the act of riding and performing tricks using a skateboard. A person who skateboards is most often referred to as a skateboarder, or colloquially within the skateboarding community, a skater. Skateboarding can be a recreational activity, an art form, a job, or a method of transportation. Skateboarding has been shaped and influenced by many skateboarders throughout the years.

With the evolution of skate parks in Cape Town and ramp skating, the skateboard began to change. Early skate tricks had consisted mainly of two dimensional maneuvers like riding on only two wheels or manual, spinning only on the back wheels a pivot, high jumping over a bar and landing on the board again, also known as a hippie jump, long jumping from one board to another often over small barrels or fearless teenagers or slalom.

According to the (Internet) in 1976, skateboarding was transformed by the invention of the ollie by Alan "Ollie" Gelfand. It remained largely a unique Florida trick until the summer of 1978, when Gelfand made his first visit to California. Gelfand and his revolutionary maneuvers caught the attention of the West Coast skaters and the media where it began to spread worldwide. The ollie was adapted to flat ground by Rodney Mullen in 1982. Mullen also invented the Magic Flip, which was later renamed the Kick flip, as well many other tricks including, the 360 Kick flip, which is a 360 pop shove it and a kick flip in the same motion. The flat ground ollie allowed skateboarders to perform tricks in mid-air without any more equipment than the skateboard itself, it has formed the basis of many street skating tricks.

It is a magic the way skateboarders perform those trick, I went to Cape College for some interview, so I spoke to some students in Cape College, and there response was that it all about magic and the trick you apply to the board.

SKATEBOARDING TRICKS

• M-80: This is a classic flip in which you start with both feet parallel facing forwards, rotated 90 to your normal direction of travel on the board and instantly followed by a revert. A good M-80 combines the classic flip and reverts into one smooth motion, and will usually be accomplished by landing the magic flip in switch on the front wheels and switching into regular stance from there. Because the skateboarder has to spin a 90° body variable as part of the trick, he can use this momentum to carry reverts on landing.

• Magic Flip: Back in the day, what we now know as a classic flip was known as a kick flip, and what we now know as a kick flip was called a magic flip. In other words, a magic flip is another name for a modern kick flip.

It is Magic the way people perform and react to skateboarders, because it definitely draws your attention to the skateboarders.

Source

http://www.board-crazy.co.uk/tricks_m.php

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Skateboarding

Time Management

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For most of us it is difficult to manage our times properly. We need pressure to finish up with the things we have to do, we like to postpone the things that are displeasing to us and at the end of the day we are left with a lot of unfinished businesses. Since it is a lot, we have to do everything at the same time, so we only give it half of our attention in order to finish everything.

With the right Time Management things are so much easier. You get to do everything in order; one thing after another and your head won’t be full and messed up with the things you still have to do. You get to do your stuff properly and not half heated.

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That is the perfect case, but who on earth is able to do that all the time? It is all up to us, which results we want to achieve and how focused we are.  We must not let time control our life’s, but always consider what we still have to do. Balance duties and fun, and do not let one of these sides of life take over! To me that is the best recipe to handle life, time and fun.

Money

People say “money is the root of all evil”, it brings out the worst in people, destroy friendships and relationships. We tend to want more than what we have, so we are trying to multiply our money, whatever it takes.

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If we get to think of it, before money was invented, people were busy to engage countertrade. Everybody exchanged their goods, depending on what they need and the ordinary people did not live in the lap of luxury. BUT was this world a more peaceful and less ill-conditioned place than the world today?

Clearly it was not. We should rather ask ourselves if it is not our common human character trade of never being satisfied that is the root of all evil! If we had the ability to have a healthy relationship with money, if it was not in the highest priority position as it is, it could not be the root of all evil.

I do not disagree that money controls everything around us BUT it is up to us to handle it responsibly, not to let it destroy our relationships, not to make it the main priority and not to let it take control of our life.

Racism

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Racism exists in every country of the world and it is not too hard to understand why. We are all human beings and a lot of us tend to fall for wrong role models. We get influenced by politics, by the media and by the people around us. In the worst case we adopt a racist opinion and declare it to our own.

To me racism is a stupid form of ignorance, laziness and weakness, those who adopt racist ideologies are either too silly to think for themselves or too lazy to create their own points of view. It is easy to blame everything that went wrong in your life on other people on other religions or on a person with a different skin colour than your own. It is easy to follow prejudices and not to try to prove them wrong. It is also easy to stick to your “own people” or your “own culture” and imagine them being on a superior position.

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Racism will keep on existing because we get manipulated easily. But let us hope that the majority of people will always appreciate the diversity of cultures, people and nationalities see the beauty in it and learn from each other. If one positive example is set a lot of people will get influenced by that and these people will influence other people in a positive way, namely to face each other as brothers and sisters. This cycle is the same like the vicious cycle of racism, but it’s all about influencing others in a positive way.

Black and White – What is the difference

Black and white has the biggest visual contrasts. A lot of people occupy the colour black with negativity and white with positivity.  We associate these colours with opposite concepts such as good and evil and day and night.

Black is a symbol of mourning and bereavement in Western societies, especially at funerals and memorial services. In some traditional societies, within for example Greece and Italy, widows wear black for the rest of their lives. In contrast, across much of Africa and parts of Asia, white is a color of mourning and is worn during funerals. In English heraldry, black means darkness, doubt, ignorance, and uncertainty. The Black Sun is an occult symbol that is said to be related to Nazism and occultism. In the Maasai tribes of Kenya and Tanzania, the color black is associated with rain clouds, a symbol of life and prosperity. Native Americans associated black with the life-giving soil.

The Hindu deity Krishna means "the black one”. The medieval Christian sect known as the Catharses viewed black as a color of perfection. The Rastafarian movement sees black as beautiful. In the Japanese culture, Black is associated with honor, not death with the white color being associated with death. Black-dog bias is a veterinarian and animal shelter phenomenon in which black dogs are passed over for adoption in favor of lighter colored animals. Black cats may be thought of as either good luck or bad.

White often represents purity or innocence in Western Civilization, particularly as white clothing or objects are easy to stain. In most Western countries white is the color worn by brides at weddings. Angels are typically depicted as clothed in white robes. Healing or "good" magic is called White magic.  In early film Westerns the stereotypically "good guy" wore a white hat (earning them the name "White Hats") while the "bad guy" wore black (earning them the name "Black Hats"). This has given rise to the use of the names black hat and white hat for people who abuse and counter abuse of computer systems respectively. In popular culture this idea is sometimes reversed to play on reversal of stereotypes.

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Be bold and mighty forces will come to your aid

This was quote was by a Canadian author and pastor Basil King, when he was speaking about overcoming fear. This quote speaks about courage. I think it means that if you are willing to be daring and courageous in your acts then you will always find help. Someone will always be willing to assist those who are brave enough to ask for help.

"Be Bold, and Mighty Forces Will Come to Your Aid"

• In order to make a difference, I must be bold.

• In order to be an example, I must be bold.

• In order to be a vehicle for change, I must be bold.

• In order to encourage others, at times I have to take a deep breath and be bold.

• In order to enlist forward propulsion, I must be bold.

And Mighty forces have and will continue to come to my aid, this will require Courage. It resides behind ear in the back of your mind and you can get them to trade places because you're in charge of your thoughts decide which one makes your choices…

"You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.' You must do the thing which you think you cannot do." -Eleanor Roosevelt



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If Not Now, Then When?

We all make excuses from time to time so the next time you find yourself saying, “Not now,” take a moment and ask yourself the question above. Also ask “Why NOT now?” You’ll be surprised at your answers and realize there really isn’t a real answer and maybe it’s just fear rearing its ugly head. If you can’t do something right now, make it a point to add to your to do list an action item with a reasonable due date to remind you to do something later rather than not at all. That would be your ‘now’ action – getting it recorded.


It may be very easy to say, “Do what you want to do now.” But we all know that’s not always feasible or practical. I take the principle of living in the now to mean that whatever it is we want, we should feel it, think it, and focus on it NOW.

Someday … A word that sits next to a lot of people’s goals as the due date…Someday…Did you know that Someday never arrives? Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday…Sunday…Where on the calendar is Someday? Sunday may sound like Someday but it’s not the same thing. Sunday is at least a sure thing. We know exactly when Sunday will arrive and experience it every week. Someday…well, that’s a different story.

Let’s be honest, anything worthwhile is difficult, because if it were easy everyone would do it. You have to take responsibility for your life! Stop making excuses and start now to go for what you want. If you don’t have the skills, get them! If you don’t have the training, get it! Get whatever you need to meet the challenge.

What do you need to do to lose weight? What do you need to be financially independent? What do you need to do to get out of debt? Remember success is the accomplishment of the goal. Lay out your plan and execute it. Your plan must work for you, so personalize it.

What are you doing to meet your goals? What are you doing today to meet your goals? What excuse is keeping you from your goal? Successful people don’t make excuses, they take action. The difference between an excuse and a reason is clear. An excuse is an explanation of why something failed blaming someone or something. A reason is an explanation where everyone takes accountability. For example, I want to lose weight, but I do not have time to go to the gym. Stop making excuses and start on your dreams. Let’s start a trend, better yet a movement toward accomplishing your goals, dreams or fantasies…

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Watch this space

Before I start with the topic of this blog post, let me first define or explain the meaning of watch this space. According to the internet, Watch this space can be define as something that one say which means that you think there will soon be exciting changes in a situation.

However, “Watch this space…!” that was the last thing she said to him after dating for years. They met some years ago, in a country where both of them are foreigners. They grew up in different parts of the world and met unexpectedly and fell in love.

Things seemed to work out well for both of them, they were young and free and kept themselves together. But after some time she had to go back home, and start a new life, there was no way she could stay in the country, but still the both of them decided to continue their relationship through the long distance relationship. However, whenever they could, they speak to each other and try to be in touch once a day, all through the long distance.

If the girl was able to she visited her partner, so that they are able to keep up with their relationship, but she started to realise something the more time fly-by and they aren’t together, the more space grew between them. Sometimes she felt like she does not know the person she is in love with anymore. So she told him “watch this space, can’t you see we are falling apart?

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 Still they continued their relationship but the guy could not see or understand what she was talking about, to him everything was normal and on point with his relationship, but didn’t realize that his relationship is falling apart. So, as time goes by she tried to make him see and tried to make him aware, she repeated herself “watch this space, we keep on falling apart”. But the guy was not ready to change, maybe the guy is so stupid to lose the love of his life or the girl is asking for a lot or maybe the guy is not good enough for the girl.

Maybe just maybe but still we don’t know what the situation is. Well the girl got tired of fighting for the same reason she feels insecure about on her own, but the last thing she told him was “watch this space, that’s what I told you for years! You weren’t ready to fill the gap or to make me continue fighting, that’s why I have to break free and let this space grow Ad infinitum.

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Before I start with the topic of this blog post, let me first define or explain the meaning of watch this space. According to the internet, Watch this space can be define as something that one say which means that you think there will soon be exciting changes in a situation.

However, “Watch this space…!” that was the last thing she said to him after dating for years. They met some years ago, in a country where both of them are foreigners. They grew up in different parts of the world and met unexpectedly and fell in love.

Things seemed to work out well for both of them, they were young and free and kept themselves together. But after some time she had to go back home, and start a new life, there was no way she could stay in the country, but still the both of them decided to continue their relationship through the long distance relationship. However, whenever they could, they speak to each other and try to be in touch once a day, all through the long distance.

If the girl was able to she visited her partner, so that they are able to keep up with their relationship, but she started to realise something the more time fly-by and they aren’t together, the more space grew between them. Sometimes she felt like she does not know the person she is in love with anymore. So she told him “watch this space, can’t you see we are falling apart?

 Still they continued their relationship but the guy could not see or understand what she was talking about, to him everything was normal and on point with his relationship, but didn’t realize that his relationship is falling apart. So, as time goes by she tried to make him see and tried to make him aware, she repeated herself “watch this space, we keep on falling apart”. But the guy was not ready to change, maybe the guy is so stupid to lose the love of his life or the girl is asking for a lot or maybe the guy is not good enough for the girl.

Maybe just maybe but still we don’t know what the situation is. Well the girl got tired of fighting for the same reason she feels insecure about on her own, but the last thing she told him was “watch this space, that’s what I told you for years! You weren’t ready to fill the gap or to make me continue fighting, that’s why I have to break free and let this space grow Ad infinitum.

Negotiation

This is a game of life. Whether you know it or not you are negotiating with your friends, loved ones, family lectures and even your clients. When we negotiate we seem not to get what we want or desire in life in most of the time.

The most important thing is the behavior of a person, the ability to show that you can manage a long term relationship, as well as a short term, in order to satisfy not only your interests but the interests of the person you are negotiating with. Negotiating is not about being powerful for we negotiate with other people only when we get more form of agreements with them, than from the other options we might have.  The concept of exchange is “something goes for something”, so the agreements are made by satisfaction of the other party. If you are unable to satisfy the other party as well as yourself, then chances of your chances of you reaching or making a good agreement will be low.

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In business today, building relationships is very important because there is more competition ready to take over. If we trust someone it’s often a deciding factor in where our business goes. We also need to develop the attitude and skills that will equip us with the skills we need.

Negotiating with honesty is a system of getting what you want at the same building lasting relationships with those you are negotiating with. Whatever the circumstances maybe, depending how the relationship is managed, it will impact on the outcome every time.

The traditional approach of making an agreement tends to be of negotiating from a position which I believe you don’t want to know. A good example will be buying, for example I buy something from you, I will definitely start with a low offer and gradually increase it in small amounts.  I will try to keep my cards to my chest and give away a little information as possible. On the other side, you will probably counter my low offer with something significantly higher and also give the price and information. We may agree or we may not agree at all. That is what negotiation is all about…



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My favourite Cat in the Hat book is [fill in the title]; because...

Cat in the Hat Book must have been a very interesting story read out when we were at pre-school. The Cat brings in a story a cheerful, exotic and exuberant form of chaos to a household of two young children, brother and sister, one rainy day while their mother leaves them unattended. The Cat performs all sorts of wacky tricks—the Cat at one point balances a teacup, some milk, a cake, three books, the Fish, a rake, a toy boat, a toy man, a red fan, and his umbrella while he is on a ball to the chagrin of the fish—to amuse the children, with mixed results. Then, the Cat gets a box from outside. Inside the box are two creatures named Thing One and Thing Two, who begin to fly kites in the house. The Cat's antics are vainly opposed by the family pet, a sapient and articulate fish.

Originally published in 1957, The Cat in the Hat is one of the most beloved children's books ever written and remains one of the Top 10 best-selling hardcover children's books to this day. In an unusual business co-venture for the time, publishing houses Houghton Mifflin and Random House commissioned Theodor S. Geisel (a.k.a. Dr. Seuss) to create a primer for children using 220 new reader vocabulary words; Houghton Mifflin intended the book for classroom usage, with Random House aiming it at the home market. While school systems were reticent to adopt the book, The Cat in the Hat immediately took off with families, and Geisel's groundbreaking work firmly established him as one of the preeminent children's book author/illustrators in the business.

I had an opportunity of watching the movie, I have seen the story come to life right in front of me. Cat in the Hat books have been around for over 50 years and hopefully they will still be around for generations to come in order for children to enjoy them.

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This is very animated story with funny characters that kids love. One should enjoy reading the children’s books because they are funny and entertaining. The crazy story lines captured one’s imagination. I want to read the Cat in the Hat Book. However, magician have also come up with a trick or a magic effect call pulling the cat out of the hat, and a lot of children likes that magic effect...